Alliteration Monday

me: no

Sent at 9:31 AM on Monday

Kyle: maybe

Sent at 9:33 AM on Monday

Kyle: its inside the circle

Sent at 9:35 AM on Monday

me: shhhh

Kyle: i cant

the gnome wont allo wit

Sent at 9:45 AM on Monday

me: i hate when he doesn't allo wit

he needs to allo the wit

it's his job

Sent at 10:18 AM on Monday

Kyle: i prefer witch aloe vera

me: that only works on cold s'mores

Sent at 10:20 AM on Monday

Kyle: the sea bass has an appealing slyness

Sent at 10:36 AM on Monday

me: the scent of sea bass sends specific jetskis soaring somewhere scientists have yet to see sober

apparently it's alliteration monday

Sent at 10:41 AM on Monday

Kyle: well alliteration aside, all accurate assumptions point to an arabian aristocratic aviation alliance

Sent at 10:51 AM on Monday

me: believe me, bishop bob boasted belligerently about benign basketball beings betraying bill belichick's boobs

Sent at 10:59 AM on Monday

Kyle: prepostorous, people playing pigskin participate prudently in prevalent pilgrimages across proudly pastured parcels of passionate pooping playgrounds

Sent at 11:02 AM on Monday

me: wonderful weathermen wish wild wombats would wreck wagons weekly while whistling wu-tang words

Sent at 11:15 AM on Monday

me: damnit

meant to use whispering in there somewhere

Sent at 11:20 AM on Monday

Kyle: dont damnit, dangerous dingos delight in delicate desserts draped in dated dingleberries, dont despair, dated dingleberries deserve daily drilling drawings depicting dead dinosaurs defecating dramatically

me: hahahaha

defecating dramatically

speaking of which

brb

Florescent Velociraptors

me: need to get some pandora up in hurr

Sent at 6:36 PM on Wednesday

me: COLDPLAY RADIO: ENGAGE

Sent at 6:38 PM on Wednesday

me: florescent velociraptors

Sent at 6:41 PM on Wednesday

me: indigo boomerang

you know what's actually fun to say?

tax bracket

tttaaaax bracket

ajax

jumping jacks

thumb tacks

plumber crack

burt bacharach

Sent at 6:47 PM on Wednesday

Kyle: why are u yelling at me

im so tired

Sent at 6:48 PM on Wednesday

me: i don't know what we're yelling about

i meant to whisper

but i'm having trouble controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE

Kyle: can i just fall asleep here at the desk

still have an article to write tonight

Sent at 6:50 PM on Wednesday

me: THEN no you probably shouLDN'T SLEEp at your DESK

Kyle: i hate u

me: I hate t

it's my least favorite letter

if i could, i'd replace all t's with f's

gonna do that starting now

whaf's your arficle abouf?

Sent at 6:54 PM on Wednesday

Kyle: did u have coffee or something

me: negafive

whaf should i have for dinner?

Kyle: torttellini tortuga tuna tossed taters

jackass

have fun ordering that one

me: hahahaha

Kyle: hahahahaha

Oopsie Poopsie

Me: now all i can think about is fixing the magic

16 minutes

2:29 PM Bryan: i'll fix your magic

2:31 PM me: no u wont

  no one can

 Bryan: ALLAKAZAAM

 me: ssshhh

  there are people sleeping

2:33 PM Bryan: oopsie poopsie

2:34 PM me: last time i did an oopsie poopsie i was kicked out of the matinee viewing of kung fu panda and was never allowed in baskin robbins again

2:36 PM Bryan: well you're not allowed in baskin robbins because you thought it was a red robin and demanded that everyone give you a cheeseburger and hacky sack

2:37 PM me: well i thought the cheeseburger was a hacky sack until i was arrested for veggie tossing, which apparently is illegal in that province of ukraine

2:42 PM Bryan: that's because the ukrainians, much like the muslim culture, believe their ancestors pass on to become vegetables which are to be honored and worshiped. when you started kicking cabbages at everyone it was considered to be a mass desecration of life, the size of which ukraine has never seen before. I still can't get the image of you shoving carrots up an elderly ukrainian woman's nose telling her to "SMELL THE VEGGIE TALES"

17 minutes

2:59 PM me: hahahahahhahahaa

  it was just so long

  and so many elements

  i couldnt

  come up with anything

3:03 PM Bryan: i just thinking anything involving ukrainian cabbage kicking is hilarious

 me: hahahahaa

  very true

15 minutes

3:18 PM Bryan: boss just gave me the go-ahead to wear jeans the rest of the year

3:19 PM boom

 me: ooooooooo

 Bryan: pretty excited about that

  of course i only have like 2 pairs of jeans

  so could get ugly

 me: jackass

  i have to wear shrit and tie

  altho friday is a no tie day

  u ad people

3:22 PM Bryan: no way

  no casual friday??

 me: uh

  if by casual

  u mean

  khakis and a dress shirt with no tie

  then yes

3:23 PM Bryan: oh

  well i think that's how most of the world operates

  just not mine

  :)

 me: jackass

  what u doin tonight

3:26 PM Bryan: goin to that cowgirl seahorse plase

3:27 PM margaritas and nachos

  you

 me: something involving a drink

 Bryan: ha

  true

3:29 PM i have this groupon thing for it

  so don't even have to throw down full price

17 minutes

3:46 PM me: say what

  what was i throwing down full price for

  frankily my arms hurt

  and i dont wanna be throwing anything

10 minutes

3:56 PM Bryan: i just spent the past half hour drinking budweiser and judging mustache girth